Hmmmmmm. So many things going on. So many new ideas and thoughts and feelings.
So many changes.
So many different people in my life now who are doing different things to enrich my life in ways I never realized I needed.
It’s nice to have someone far away tell me they miss me. It’s nice to have someone tell me every day that I’m beautiful and that I’m a blessing to them. It’s nice being told to my face by people I love that they believe in me and my abilities, and that they need me. It’s nice to have a close friend give you a very flattering compliment that could be taken as flirting, but not in a compromising way (it was more of a surprise because this friend normally doesn’t dish out such compliments regularly). It’s nice to be needed - not out of obligation or because of a job, but because another person feels incomplete without you in their life.
I’m not saying I’ve never received this sort of encouragement before. I’m just sharing all of this with all of you to show that I’m grateful and honored to be receiving this sort of thing on a regular basis lately. It’s very spiritually and emotionally uplifting.
It’s nice to be needed and loved without any negative side effects (awkwardness, a sense of overbearing, obligation, compromising feels, etc.). That’s how things should work in life - needing and loving others in ways that aren’t compromising or awkward or selfish.
It’s why I keep striving to be the way I am to those around me, because I want everyone to feel how I feel: happy, content, and thrilled to be alive and a part of such amazing people’s lives - people who shower me with such love and blessings that I hardly know what to do with myself, let alone reciprocate such love and blessings.
But the one thing I keep hearing is “you don’t need to do anything, Jo. Just keep being yourself. That alone is the biggest blessing to me.”
And then I just
(Then I end up practically glomping the person. And if they’re far away, then I send them a picture of me smiling like crazy and have them count that on a running tab of hugs to give them later)
I feel really good. Really content and comfortable and warm on the inside. There’s a lot going on that’s been wonderful and just down-right good. No super exciting things or whatever. Just really good stuff to make me contentedly happy every day. Lots of encouragement and love from the people I care about most in my life, and that’s a downright blessing. Strengthening bonds, showing and sharing agape love, and receiving encouragement and joy in stories and happy words. And wonderfully good things happening to people in my life who’ve needed it so badly.
I’m just a mass of happy right now. Again, not hyper excited happy. Just simple, quiet, comfortable, hug-inducing happy.
I wake up to a wonderful morning, excited about spending the day with my mum, and it gets even better as I go:
My mum mentions that it’s Wednesday Market downtown, AND my parents present me with “Ponyo” after overhearing me wanting to get the movie at some point.
And here’s my to-do list of things of things that are going to feed the fire of awesome for my day:
~ in general, spending it with my mum, who needs this (going through menopause, not feeling good about herself, etc.)
~ helping my mum feel good about herself, aka finding her some outfits for the upcoming Cali trip. etc.
~ getting some sandals on sale from my store
~ getting a cute skirt
~ getting the book “Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children”
~ and probably going swimming
Pros: seeing my grandparents, my bestie/cousin Rachel (aka Hawkeye - she calls me Trapper. We’re MASH fans), hanging out with other extended family, spending time with my Uncle “Beans” Ben (including exploring San Fran, driving a dragster, and riding a Harley Davidson), doing all sorts of sports associated with water (swimming, boating, potentially jet skiing, etc.), tanning, and so on.
Cons: only being able to spend 2 weeks down there, saying goodbye to everyone, having to come back (mostly because of work), not being able to bring the weather with me (even though it SHOULD be somewhat as nice when I return), AND DADGUMMIT MISSING OUT ON HELPING OUT WITH THE DRAMA SUMMER CAMP.
And I’d be getting paid for it, too!! D:
WHY THEN, LORI!? WHY HAVE THE SUMMER CAMP THEEEEN?!??! Why couldn’t we have had it when I wasn’t getting many hours, instead of just after my trip when I can’t take anymore time off because of my vacation AND because of the start of the back-to-school month!??!?!?
The upside is that I might still be able to help out here and there…just not the whole time :C
Time, you are my enemy once more on SO many levels this summer.
UPDATE: Thanks to EVERYONE who signaled-boosted my previous note; your prayers and thoughts helped immensely.
According to what I’ve been told and read, my friends have been FOUND! They haven’t pinpointed their location yet, but somehow a call was able to get through (normally no reception way out in Opal Creek), and they said they’re fine, just cold and tired.
A ground crew is honing in on them, and a helicopter is going to find them from the air. It’s interesting because as I type this, a helicopter is going by my window. Never thought a helicopter could sound so encouraging or even comforting!
So thanks again, guys - my friends will be home by this afternoon or evening, and there’s going to be a lot of joy to be shared.